Copyright © Carolyn N. Berger, LCSW. All rights reserved.

At long last you are parents, either through fertility treatment or adoption.
Caring for a baby is much the same for all parents regardless of how their child came into the family. There’s feeding, changing, and figuring out why the baby is crying in the middle of the night. There’s also the first smile, the first word, the first step.

There is an extra “parenting piece” for those whose children come through third-party reproduction or adoption. These parents are encouraged to talk with their kids about their beginnings so they can develop positive self-images that take how they were created into account.

At first, parents can talk to their children about their origins in the simplest and most basic of ways. The conversation becomes more complex as their children grow, and they are able to understand more. A counselor specializing in fertility and/or adoption can help you find ways to talk with your children at different ages and stages of development.

Many parents through fertility treatment and adoption ask for guidance about how and when to disclose a child’s beginnings to family, friends, and others. There are no easy answers, but counseling can help parents reach solutions that work for them and their kids.

Adoptive parents often wrestle with how to help their children deal with a sense of loss. Adopted children are aware that their birthparents chose to place them, and this can bring up feelings of sadness. Through counseling, a child can mourn their loss and parents can accept their feelings as a normal part of adoption.

Families have been created through third-party reproduction and adoption for quite some time. Parents can draw on the experience of others by joining support groups and adoptive parents organizations as well as speaking to counselors with backgrounds in family building.

See more information on the Resource Page.


Topics Explored in Parenting Counseling

Transracial Adoption

Transitioning to Parenthood

Telling Children About Their Origins (Third-Party, Adoption)

Common issues for Children Created Through Third-Party Reproduction

Common issues for Children Who Were Adoptedt

Disclosing (or Not) Your Child’s Origins to Others

Raising Children in “Blended” Families Where Some Are Genetically Linked to Their Parents
and Some Are Not

Navigating Relationships With Birthparents and Birth Siblings in Some Open Adoptions

Navigating Relationships With Donors and Donor Siblings in Some Third-Party
Reproduction Arrangements